What sort of rascals have been in here? Lucy snapped, slamming the phone down. Give your family a ring and let them come and tidy up. Im not going to clean after them. Ive had enough of constantly washing the bed linen after your mates crash at our cottage.
Listen, Mum called earlier, Sam said over the roast dinner. The lot are planning a weekend barbecue with the relatives.
Good for them, Lucy replied dryly. Let them gowhat do we need them for? Ive never liked your motherinlaw, Gillian, anyway.
They want to use our cottage, Sam explained. They dont own one, and Ive got a garage job on Saturday. He spoke as if it were common sense. I told Mum we cant go up to the cottage at the weekend, so she asked for the keys.
Lucy had no choice but to agree, a decision she would later regret. When the next weekend arrived and Sam and she headed for the cottage, Lucy froze at the sight. The place looked as if a herd of goats had been let loose.
Berries strewn about, the floor in the living room covered in dust, a lone pot of ancient soup cooling on the stove. The kitchen curtains had been ripped off the windows. Lucy couldnt make heads or tails of the mess. Her inlaws were already in their sixties.
She let it all out to Sam.
What sort of rascals have been in here? Give your family a ring and let them come and tidy up, Lucy fumed again. Im not cleaning after them. Im tired of washing the sheets after your friends, who keep crashing at our cottage.
Maybe youve overworked yourself. Toss it in the washing machine, take it out and hang it, Sam suggested calmly.
How about next time you do all that? Are you happy with the state of our cottage and garden? Lucy retorted.
Sam didnt call anyone. Lucy stopped talking to him, but eventually they made up. Theyd only been married two yearstied the knot for love, although Lucy now sometimes wondered if shed rushed in. No children yet.
Life went on as usual: work, house, house, work. Weekends were spent strolling in the park or heading out with friends for a bit of countryside. Everything changed when Lucys mother suddenly remarried and moved to another city. Their family cottage passed into Lucys name.
From then on, Sams side of the family seemed to love her. One after another they kept dropping by for a visit, claiming that barbecues taste better in fresh air.
Cousins, second cousins, uncles, aunts and even Sams grandmother turned up, all eager for a riverside grill. Sams friends joined the parade as well. Everyone arrived with a nightbag in tow, expecting Sam to fire up the grill as usual. Lucy was getting fed up, but she didnt want to ruin the relationships with her new inlaws and friends. Something had to be done.
Now the approach of the weekend gave her a strange sort of excitement. When Lucy and Sam wed, his mother was already well into her golden years. Shed given birth to a son rather late, and there was also a sister, Margaret, ten years older than Sam, who came from a small village and always assumed everything was shared.
Margaret and Gillian treated the cottage as a freeforall, taking creams, shampoos, loofahs and even Lucys indoor slippers. Then Gillian rang again, asking Sam for the cottage keys. This time Margaret wanted to drive her boss there for a weekend getaway and a barbecue.
Of course, Lucy wasnt consulted.
Lets give Mum the keys, Sam said, recalling Lucys horrified reaction to the last family visit but not wanting to bring it up.
Lucy realised she had to act, and Sam suddenly found himself on the wrong side of the argument. After weighing options, she called her own mother and complained.
Ill call back, her mother replied shortly.
Within twenty minutes Lucy phoned again, claiming her sister and her husband would be staying at the cottage for a while. Dont worry, she added, Aunt Olive will sort it out for you.
Lucy gasped. Shed always been wary of Aunt Olive, who had taken her on a few summer holidays as a childa memory that still gave her the shivers. Olive was known for being a tough but caring disciplinarian.
That evening Olive called.
Well, dear niece, how are you holding up? Youve been awfully quiet; you ought to have called me ages ago. So, whats the planscare them a little or go fullblown? Olive chuckled, clearly enjoying the drama.
Lucy shivered. Did you tell them the cottage belongs to me? Olive asked.
Dont recall, but theyre all convinced its theirs, Lucy replied.
Dont fret, love, well sort it out nicely.
On Sunday Sams phone rang with an irate Gillian.
Did you sell the cottage? she shrieked. Wheres the money? Why didnt anyone tell us?
It turned out that on Saturday Margaret and her boss, plus Gillian and her husband, had arrived at the cottage. A picturesque group of five was already grilling on the lawn.
What are you lot doing here? cried Gillian, bewildered.
And who exactly are you? a dignified voice demanded. It was the lady who claimed to own the cottage. Im the lady of the house; I dont know you. How did you get the keys?
The inlaws were flustered. Margaret tried to explain the family ties and the key handover. The lady glowered at her, and Margaret instantly fell silent, while Gillian stayed mum.
In the end the keys were taken back, and the intruders were politely asked to leave and not return, under threat of legal action.
From a distance Lucy heard Gillian yell into the handset. Sam was clueless and couldnt muster a word.
Hand the phone to your wife, Sam said, passing the receiver to Lucy. The cottage isnt yours! Gillian declared dramatically.
Did anyone ask you? Lucy tried to stay calm. Did you decide everything here is yours as well?
Do you realise Margaret invited her boss to the cottage? She could be facing layoffs, and she wanted to curry favour. If she loses her job, thatll be on your conscience, Gillian snapped.
Whats it to me? Aunt Olive is the hostess, shes just on holiday, and you didnt even ask me. Buy your own place and enjoy it, Lucy shot back. Youve lived without this cottage before; youll manage without it now.
Sam, suddenly pale, muttered, After this, I wont go back, and neither will my relatives.
It was the first real fight theyd had. Sam was hurt. Margaret lost her job. Ill never forgive you for this, he said. My family loves you, cares for you, and youve betrayed us.
Lucy was convinced Margarets dismissal had another reason. She suddenly realised she didnt really miss any of them. Their marriage had hit a dead end.
Mum, I think Im getting a divorce, Lucy said.
Decide for yourself, love. Youre an adult now. Where will you live? Ive let go of my flat. Move in with Olive.
Thanks, of course, Lucy replied, surprised. I suppose Ill rent a flat.
Lucy filed for divorce, rented a flat, and moved out of Sams house. She never set foot in the cottage again.
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